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The Boulder-Springs Journal
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Written by Fitzgerald Sundstrand
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Saturday, 18 April 2009 08:31 |
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Boulder-Springs (ANS): The Boulder-Springs County Commissioners are having a heyday after firing the county's internal audit staff. There are no more expense audits, no more policy enforcements, and a raging fear within the entire county workforce that any questions related to commissioner's actions will result in dire consequences. We attempted to contact several key county employees, including the county manager, without success. If we got any comment at all it was "no comment" The Journal is growing increasingly concern that taxpayer dollars and resources are being mis-used, but there is no way to validate at this time. One county commissioner, under conditions of anonymity, did provide us with the following quote. "All of the crappy sunshine laws in the state of Colorado, and it's counties and cities, are preventing us from getting real work done. All government employees do is piss and moan that they don't have money available for roads, bridges, schools, etc. Screw them. The people who matter in Colorado don't have to worry about that crap. They have private jets and send their kids to private schools. We decided, 'hell with this budget s--t' we're going to get some of what those people have. If the taxpayers don't like it they can kiss our respective a---s." More on this story as it develops. |
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Last Updated on Saturday, 18 April 2009 08:44 |
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Written by Fitzgerald Sundstrand
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Sunday, 03 May 2009 09:53 |
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Washington (ANS) In breaking news, Colorado Senator Douglas "Dooley" Neall (PNCP) came under fire for his proposed legislation to prosecute fiscal impropriety as treason. A national organization of lobbyists has quickly decried the bill, which would include lobbying in the same prosecutorial basket as bribery and kickbacks. A lobbyist for the New York financial industry, who asked to remain anonymous, virtually screamed into the phone during an interview. "That hayseed from the middle of flyover country hasn't got a clue about how things are done in the world. Does he understand that one of the possible penalties for treason is death? What? You're going to slip somebody the needle because a few billion dollars gets misplaced? I've never heard anything more rediculous in my life." The Journal will continue to watch this story as it develops. We have two reporters who will be on the ground in D.C. within the next two hours. In the meantime, we'll keep you posted with updates from ANS. |
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Written by BSJ World Desk
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Tuesday, 13 October 2009 07:44 |
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Boulder-Springs CO (ANS): Colorado Congressman T. Emory "Em" Gideon (RW) today called for the United States government to sever relations with the United Kingdom over the current audit and repayment demands for MP overstated expenses.
"The Brits have gone too damned far," Gideon stated to radio call in host Berni Piat at KZUD 88.2 FM early this morning. "How the hell can politicians be expected to do effective work if they think they're going to have to pay back every little piss-ant expense? Who the hell are you going to get to run this country if elected officials are expected to follow the same damned rules as the freakin' plebes? I say we send a message now. We cut off British imports (except for Laphoraig, of course, we can't be too over the top with this) and shut down all the crap on the airwaves from BBC. We've got our own crappy television people should be watching."
The recording seems to indicated that Gideon slammed down his phone on disconnect and has since been unavailable for comment. Follow the Journal for more updates. |
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 13 October 2009 08:05 |
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Written by Administrator
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Wednesday, 16 September 2009 23:40 |
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 Boulder-Springs (ANS) - The Airline Telephone Flight Status Looker-Uppers (ATFSLU) has threatened to walk out on CORE Airways if CORE moves forward with an on-line application for the lookup of flight status. Approximately 950 ATFSLU members are affected by this proposed automation.
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Written by Fitzgerald Sundstrand
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Monday, 30 March 2009 19:28 |
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Boulder-Springs, special to the Journal Last night, it an eight to one decision, the Boulder-Springs county commissioners fired the county's entire internal audit staff of five people. "They were digging into things that were none of their business," said an unnamed commissioner (who by the way is under indictment for real estate fraud involving land around the new airport.) "They were looking at policies and procedures. We hired them to look for people who were stealing from us, not to dig around in management affairs." When asked what expectations the commission had of the audit staff, the same source replied, "They were supposed to look into stuff like employees stealing pens, and using county vehicles for personal business. They didn't find any of that, and what they did find is much better kept under the rug." When asked for clarification, our source simply replied, "no comment." The Journal has not been allowed to talk to any of the fired staff members under the guise of "county security," but we have unearthed allegations of a number of improprieties by commissioners and staff. This reporter was contacted this morning at 3 am by a gruff voiced woman (whom we immediately recognized as a long-term commissioner) who stated, "I don't care what they think they've got on paper, that trip to the Cayman Islands last December was county business." We think she might be referring to $100,000 in federal grant money that never seemed to hit the county coffers. More on this story as it develops. |
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Last Updated on Saturday, 18 April 2009 08:46 |
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Boulder-Springs Journal™ and all content © 2004-2010, ChaliceMedia LLC. All Rights Reserved. The Boulder-Springs Journal is a fictitious newspaper, any resemblance to real persons, places, companies or events is either unintentional or satirical. Please read the full disclaimer. You may not place classified ads on this website because, as we repeat for clarity, this is not a real freaking newspaper.
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